


shit like that doesn't just go away

by how_about_no



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, IT Chapter Two Spoilers, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 00:24:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20733197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/how_about_no/pseuds/how_about_no
Summary: ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ The light was shining on the left side of Eddie’s face, making the brown of his eyes glow amber. He blinked at Richie. Cute, cute, cute. Richie brushed the thought away, it came often. Beautiful, his traitor brain added.‘See you later, Eddie ol’ boy!’ Richie watched as Eddie shook his head with a reluctant smile, got on his bike, and glanced back one last time before pedalling away.Richie thought of the arcade, of what Bowers said, of the feeling in his stomach when Eddie looked at him. His mind provided him with a faster than light montage of all the smiles Richie had catalogued, all of the laughs at Richie’s jokes, the moments where Richie thought, wow, what a guy. He watched the montage and watched Eddie disappear and felt the pit in his stomach grow deeper.‘Oh, shit.’*The moment Richie realised he was in love with Eddie, and what should have happened 27 years later.





	shit like that doesn't just go away

**Author's Note:**

> So I have finally written my fix it... I just wanted to write the moment richie went.. oh god.. i'm in love with my best friend.. and then this happened
> 
> enjoy

There was a piece of grime near the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Richie watched him chat utter shit about potpourri and responded in kind but all he could think about was that piece of dirt. Eddie must not have noticed it. He had so much shit on him that it was irrelevant.

‘God, would you shut up already?’ Stan came to a stop when they reached the crossroads where he, Bill, and Mike would split off from the rest of them in different directions, ‘I can’t listen to this anymore.’

Richie opened his mouth to say something probably offensive, then he saw the tears welling in Stan’s eyes. He was still scared. No, not scared, terrified. Richie shut his mouth.

‘See you later, Stan.’ Eddie said quietly. He brought his hand up and brushed away the grime Richie had been fixated on. A sigh of relief escaped him.

‘Yeah. S-see you later.’ Bill said. He mounted Silver. They all watched him in anticipation, waiting for the next thing for their leader to say. He held himself higher than he did before. His chin was up, no shame, no fear. Richie felt admiration swell in his gut, ‘We’ll meet at the Barrens tomorrow. Noon. Promise you’ll show.’

No stutter.

The losers promised.

Richie didn’t know what he wanted them to do tomorrow, but he knew he’d do it. They’d been through hell together. Goddammit, he’d die for any one of these losers.

Stan, who nodded once, a tear falling, who had faced his fears despite being the most terrified of them all.

Mike, who smiled gently at them all, having been the one to save them from Henry Bowers the psychopath.

Bev, the survivor of the deadlights, her dress, sodden and clinging to her and dread in her eyes.

Ben, who watched Bev, the hardiest boy Richie had ever met, barely flinching at the abuse he had faced from the Bowers gang.

Bill, the leader, the hero, the guy who made it all happen and brought the losers together, poised high on his bike like a proud king.

Eddie. God, Eddie, the hypochondriac kid that shouted at his mother and kicked a demon in the face and walked through greywater for his friends. The kid that broke his fucking arm and still came to fight It with the rest of the losers like he belonged there.

Fuck, Eddie. The bravest fucking kid that Richie knew and somehow the cutest even covered in a demon’s puke.

They kept walking. It was silent. Bev and Ben were shooting each other little looks but neither of them said anything. Eddie chewed on his bottom lip, then seemed to remember how dirty he was, and immediately spat on the floor.

‘You can stay at mine if you want.’ Richie offered, though he wasn’t sure why he did. Eddie blinked at him, still running his tongue around his teeth like he was cleaning them.

‘I need to see my mom.’ Eddie said. He stared at the ground and Richie stared at him, ‘Shower in my own bathroom.’

‘Okay.’ Richie nodded slowly, still trying to figure out where the offer came from.

Ben left, turning off down his road. Bev went with him, unsure if she even had a home anymore.

Moments later it was Eddie’s turn to ride off into the sunset and Richie’s stomach turned at the thought of being alone.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ The light was shining on the left side of Eddie’s face, making the brown of his eyes glow amber. He blinked at Richie. _Cute, cute, cute._ Richie brushed the thought away, it came often. _Beautiful,_ his traitor brain added.

‘See you later, Eddie ol’ boy!’ Richie replied in his British Man Voice. He watched as Eddie shook his head with a reluctant smile, got on his bike, and glanced back one last time before pedalling away.

Richie thought of the arcade, of what Bowers said, of the feeling in his stomach when Eddie looked at him. His mind provided him with a faster than light montage of all the smiles Richie had catalogued, all of the laughs at Richie’s jokes, the moments where Richie thought, _wow, what a guy._ He watched the montage and watched Eddie disappear and felt the pit in his stomach grow deeper.

‘Oh, _shit.’_

_27 Years Later_

The realisation Richie had that day after the sewers came back as soon as Eddie turned around in the Chinese restaurant. Something primal in him made him pick up the beater and smash it against the gong to see Eddie’s shocked little face. It morphed in exactly the same way it used to.

_Cute, cute cute! _Richie wanted to scream.

Then he remembered It.

Then he remembered Stan.

Then It came for then.

Then he killed Henry Bowers, climbed down into that rotten fucking sewer again, watched a little Pomeranian turn into a monster, and got caught in the deadlights.

‘Richie!’ The shout was vague, muffled, and all Richie could do was stare, stare into those lights.

Then Eddie was above him.

‘I did it! I think I got him, man, I got It!’ Eddie had Richie’s face in his hands and this sight was a million times more hypnotising than the deadlights, ‘I didn’t freeze.’

‘Eddie.’ Richie said, a warning, an image coming to his mind from what he saw when It had him, but it didn’t come out fast enough. It lunged, and Richie tried to pull Eddie away. It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, and Eddie’s left arm wasn’t there anymore.

‘Richie.’ Blood came and came and didn’t stop coming. Richie rested Eddie on the floor and ripped off his jacket to press it against the wound. He was hyperventilating and knew he was, but the air wouldn’t come to him, ‘Go, go!’ Eddie shouted, ‘You gotta make It feel small. When I fought the Leper, when I wasn’t scared, it was like I could’ve really killed It.’

‘Eddie.’ Richie ran his thumb under Eddie’s eye, the spot of blood there just like the piece of grime but this time he brushed it away and this time Eddie was dying, and his arm wasn’t broken it was _gone._

‘Alright, you sloppy bitch!’ Richie’s fear turned to rage. He stood up and faced goliath, ‘Make It feel small!’ He shouted to the others, marching to where It was poised to attack, ‘You stupid fucking clown, I’ll kill you!’

‘You’re a mimic!’ Bill shouted, catching on immediately, because of course he would.

‘You’re a little old lady!’ Bev yelled.

‘A scared bully!’ Ben’s jaw was set.

‘A clown!’ Mike added.

‘Mimic!’

‘Fake!’

‘Old lady!’

‘A child!’

‘A fucking CLOWN!’ Richie ripped off one of It’s legs. An eye for an eye.

Richie yelled, he screamed, he watched It deflate and crumble. He relished in the feel of the heart popping beneath his and the other losers’ hands.

‘Eddie.’ Richie breathed when the world went still. He ran as fast as his shaking legs would take him, to Eddie’s side, to where he belonged.

‘Rich,’ Eddie’s eyes were rolling. The hand he was using to hold Richie’s jacket to his arm was shaking. He was probably too out of it to see the tears rolling down Richie’s face, ‘You know I- I-’

‘We have to get him out of here.’ Richie pleaded to the others who were surrounding him, close enough to see but not to touch. They all shared looks, ‘He’s just hurt. We can help him. Get him out of here, to a hospital or- shit.’

Richie’s tears overwhelmed him, and he gasped for breath. He couldn’t do this here. He couldn’t tell Eddie everything he had wanted to tell him since he was 13 years old in a dirty fucking sewer. Eddie couldn’t die without knowing.

He looked at Eddie, the dying man, and he was just a boy again. Just a stupid kid who didn’t know how he felt but he knew he felt _something. _He was a little faggot with coke bottle glasses clutching at the boy he loved and begging him not to die.

Richie was thirteen again, so was Eddie, and the years It had stolen from them were gone. It seemed like all that was a dream and they’d been in the sewers all along, fighting It by living out the worst versions of their lives.

‘Richie.’ Eddie’s voice was small, young, rasping. He knew he wasn’t really young, that the years had passed and they weren’t kids anymore, but when Richie looked before him all he could see was the boy he fell in love with.

‘Let’s get him out of here.’ Bev had the same determined twist to her mouth that she had when they split the first time. _We have to fight It together!_ She had yelled all those years ago, ‘We can do it.’

The cave rumbled and rocks began to fall around them.

‘You think you can hold on if you’re on my back?’ Ben crouched next to Eddie who nodded minutely, his skin sickly pale.

It was a struggle, and Richie could barely see it through his tears, but Eddie was on Ben’s back with his arm over the man’s chest.

When they got to the crawl space, Ben went through backwards and dragged Eddie by the arm, and Mike pushed from the back where Eddie tried to move his legs too. Richie did nothing but try to stop panicking.

He wasn’t consciously aware of the rest. The next thing he knew, they were out of the house and Eddie wasn’t breathing.

‘Shit! Shit!’ Richie shouted, sobbed, and Bev pushed him away to give Eddie CPR.

‘Call an ambulance.’ She said to Bill, who pulled out his phone, then grimaced as water dripped away from it.

‘I have my car,’ Richie said, his words weak and his throat hurting, ‘But someone else needs to fucking drive.’

‘I’ll do it.’ Mike held his hands out for Richie’s keys.

‘He’s breathing.’ Bev stood up and waved for Ben to pick him up, which he did with ease.

Richie watched the love of his life being carried, limp and dying in Ben’s arms, and let one more tear fall before racing to the front of the group so he could lead the way to his car.

He barely noticed the house collapsing behind them.

*

Richie nearly had to be dragged out of the hospital. Eddie had been whisked away and the losers eventually convinced him that he wasn’t going to be helping Eddie by sitting in greywater-soaked clothes.

_‘Have you ever heard of a staph infection?!’_

_‘I’ll show you a staph infection.’_

He let the warm water of the inn shower wash over him, along with the memories. His left cheek tingled, remembering Eddie kicking him there, and his hand clenched, remembering holding Eddie’s leg with it. Memories he hadn’t thought about in years had been coming back to him since coming back to town. Some came back in chunks, like suddenly remembering everything that happened with It.

Eddie came back in drips.

The moment he realised how he felt came back the instant Richie saw him.

The memory of the first search in the Barrens came back on the second day.

When he saw Eddie’s cheek, and suddenly filled with worry, he remembered his cast. _Lovers._

It all came slowly, but it felt sudden. He loved Eddie. He _loves_ Eddie.

Being assaulted with the memory of the hammock when Eddie could be dying in a hospital made Richie want to throw up.

The water at his feet went from black, to grey, to clear, and Richie still stood there. He stood there until Mike knocked on the door, concerned about him.

Then he remembered Stan doing the same thing in the gap, after the arcade, and burst into tears all over again. He remembered them sitting in Richie’s room. He remembered Stan comforting him despite not knowing the whole truth.

Richie was never a crier, he remembered that much. Now the floodgates had been opened. He was sure he wouldn’t stop crying until he knew Eddie was okay, or until he joined him.

‘I’m coming.’ Richie said eventually, after Mike knocked for a second time.

*

‘He’s been asking for you.’ The nurse had said, when Richie showed up at the hospital the next day after no sleep.

Now he was stood in front of the hospital room door, trying to think of some funny quip to say when he first saw the other man. For something other than ‘I love you’ to come out.

‘Just talked to the nurse,’ Richie said when he walked in, not looking at the hospital bed, ‘She said you’re going to be alright. Get it? All _right._’

‘Fucking hilarious, bud.’ Eddie was looking at him, not quite smiling, but his eyes were. His wound wasn’t visible because of the hospital gown, but Richie could see the extra padding from the gauze, ‘You should add that to your shitty act.’

‘Told you I don’t write my own material.’

‘You should.’ Eddie said. He glanced from the chair on his right back to Richie, and Richie took the invitation, sitting down and wiping his sweaty palms on his thighs.

‘Alive then, huh?’

‘No thanks to you. Heard you were fucking useless in the sewers.’ Eddie’s brow was furrowed, and Richie almost apologised, but then the frown morphed into a smile and Richie realised he was being fucked with.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I single-handedly bridle carried you out of there.’

‘Bridal carried?’ Eddie raised both of his eyebrows.

‘Uh huh, you were like my little maiden. So petite. It was like carrying a medium sack of potatoes.’

‘Sack of-’ Eddie shook his head and huffed out a small laugh. _That laugh,_ Richie thought, _I’d kill a man for that fucking laugh._

‘I’m glad you’re okay.’ Richie said.

Eddie was clean this time, no cast, but no arm either, yet the fluorescence of the lights above them made him glow with the same beauty as the last time they survived. He had crows feet, laughter lines, a crease in his brow that wasn’t there 27 years ago, but he was the same kid that walked through greywater despite his fears, and told Richie to shut the fuck up, and changed the writing on his cast from _Losers _to _Lovers_ because he knew what he believed in.

Richie fell in love with that kid, but God, if he didn’t love the man in front of him too.

‘Me too.’ Eddie blinked at him, and it took Richie a moment to realise he was responding to what he said and not the thoughts currently running through his mind, ‘You know, Richie, I- I started to say something in the sewers and you- you didn’t really let me so I’m just going to fucking say it or I’ll explode and lose my other fucking arm.’ Eddie sliced his hand through the air in that fucking adorable way of his and Richie felt his smile turn soft and transparent, ‘It’s been on my mind and like- in my heart I guess, and it’s fucking stupid and gross and made me totally convinced I was sick, fuck! I may not have known about it for 27 years, and yes, I married a woman, shocker! But It’s still fucking relevant, you know? Shit like that doesn’t just go away and if I don’t say it I’ll- I’ll-’

‘Explode?’ Richie, for the first time, was speechless. He thought he knew where this was going. God, he hoped he knew. He also knew you couldn’t interrupt Eddie when he was like this. Even if you did, it wouldn’t stop him.

‘We were just kids, you know? Stupid fucking kids and if It hadn’t come along and if we didn’t have that fucking darkness driving us away from each other, I wouldn’t be this frustrated! This would’ve been resolved fucking years ago which is _another _reason I hate that demon clown motherfucker.’ Eddie tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling. Inside, Richie was screaming, _say it! Just fucking say it already!_

‘I don’t even know when I realised it, man. Just one day everything was different, and it was like a- a fucking lightbulb went off in my head.’ Eddie clicked his fingers and looked at Richie again, ‘I fucking love you, Richie Tozier. I don’t know if it was since we were 13, or 12, or as soon as I fucking saw you. Shit, I think I loved you when I didn’t even remember you. I married my mother, for Christ sakes! Well, not literally my mother, she’s long dead, thank God, rest in peace, but you know what I- I- could you fucking say something?’

Eddie looked at Richie imploringly. He was red faced and breathing heavily, and so fucking beautiful.

‘And they say _I _don’t shut up.’

‘Really, dipshit?’ His words were angry, but his eyes were full of nerves, ‘That’s all you have to say?’

Richie didn’t have words, not for those few seconds, so he picked up Eddie’s hand with his own and pressed a gentle kiss to each knuckle. Then he turned the hand over and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s palm, then the inside of his wrist.

‘I fucking love you too, Eddie Kaspbrak.’ Richie whispered into the soft skin under his lips. He looked up, not moving away, and saw a tear roll down Eddie’s cheek.

‘Fuck.’ Eddie said, ‘I want to wipe that shit away, but I want you to keep holding my hand.’

‘That’s fucking gay.’

‘I only have one hand, dipshit, be nice to me.’

‘Hey, you’re all right.’

‘I hated that joke the first time, Bitchard.’ Eddie tried to pull away weakly, making a show of it but not actually trying. Richie held tighter and grinned.

‘That’s what your mom used to call me.’

‘Fuck _you._’

‘Fuck me yourself, coward.’

Richie brought Eddies hand up to his lips to hide his smile, like it would even work. He pressed another kiss there and Eddie’s overexaggerated frown softened immediately.

‘Shit,’ Eddie said suddenly, and Richie was alert, afraid of the twitch in Eddie’s voice, ‘I have to find a divorce lawyer.’

‘Oh,’ Richie drawled, ‘You fucking bet, Eds.’

**Author's Note:**

> then they moved in together and were in love until they died of old age


End file.
